'He started calling me childish and said how it’s not even a big deal': Woman and boyfriend break up because they're going to different countries for college, they stay in touch until boyfriend reveals he's on a dating app and she ghosts him

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 12, 2025 11:00 PM EST

They say that we shouldn't try to devote our time to loving other people when we haven't learned to love ourselves. If we don't know how to comfort ourselves and accept who we are, how are we going to be able to do that for other people? That's what society wants to tell you. There are times, however, when this isn't necessarily true. A person can come into your life and lift you up from your sunken place. They can teach you what true love feels like, and through their devotion and care, you can learn how to love and be loved. 

The unfortunate side of this is there's a chance that there will come a time when you and your partner experience some real growing pains. Maybe you've become more successful than them as you've healed. Maybe they're intimidated by you when your light starts to shine. Sometimes you just truly outgrow each other, and there's nothing wrong with that. It just may be time to reevaluate your relationship and decide what you want out of a partner. One woman's relationship came to this point when both she and her boyfriend decided to break up since they were both moving away, yet he kept staying in touch with her. Should she cut him off cold turkey? Read on to decide.

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    "AITAH for ghosting my ex because of how he told me he’s moving on?"

    So me and my ex broke up a few months ago mostly because we were both moving to different countries this year. Eventually, I did but he got a rejection from his uni.
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    Regardless, when we broke up, he stayed affectionate towards me and so did I. We kissed, went out, I made romantic efforts for him like sending him flowers abroad etc.
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    So while all of it kept happening, I used to ask him if he wants to move on and he always said no. A month later I found out he had been on tinder for over a month. So it wasn't technically cheating but I felt a little betrayed.
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    Especially given the fact that even when we were dating, he always hid his phone from me in the name of "trust". It led to a fight, he apologised a LOT. I forgave him etc.
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    Now before I left for abroad, he was very emotional. He even cried and we kissed and it was all very intimate when we met for the last time. We even kept saying I love u for a few days after that.
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    Passingly, yesterday he told me he was flirting with a friend. I asked him later if he has started moving on. Just this. I just asked if he has started doing it. And he... blew up.
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    He started saying how he is moving on and he doesn't owe me an explanation, how I should too go out on dates etc. he got just really hurtful so I cut the call in the middle. He then blocked me and I cried for hours.
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    2 things to add to this: 1. I make a lot of efforts for this man. A LOT. Writing SOPs, filling out lengthy exam forms, lending him money etc and this is the least of it. I do everything to make his life easier. And ever since he got his uni rejection, a month ago, things are completely one sided. He takes 0 interest
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    one sided. He takes 0 interest in my life. I moved abroad alone and will probably have to file a case against the landlord here and he didn't even ask why what happened. Like nothing.
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    2. I don't expect him to stay with me. Even if he is moving on, he should at least be a little polite about it instead of treating me like I'm nothing and don't even deserve to ask this. He knows I still like him. And his reaction to such a simple question just showed how little regard he had for my feelings especially given all that I do for him.
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    He called later to apologise (by saying it's an emergency on text) and I said it's fine I'll just talk tomorrow. I kept insisting I need time and he eventually got annoyed that I didn't get fine after his one apology so he started calling me childish and said how it's not even a big deal.
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    Then came the big words. He started saying I do all these efforts for him to guilt him into a relationship with me which he doesn't want. And that I should've gotten the hint when he went on tinder so he doesn't understand why I need to know if he has started moving on or not.
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    I started crying, told him this is the most I've been hurt by him etc. he said we should talk less from now on and cut the call.
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    So I have no one here. No friends to talk to either. So I called him later while still crying and asked how he could say such things and he said all I need is to accuse him and make him the villain and that I'm childish to bring these things up because atm he's only worried about his career and then cut the call.
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    I texted him again that I need him and that I feel alone but it's now been 2 days since we last talked. AITAH? Am I with his head when he has other things to worry about?
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    People in the comments tried to give this woman a reality check.

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    Let me get this straight: he ghosted your feelings, and you ghosted him? A classic case of who can out-ghost who.
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    Let him go. He's not your BF anymore and he doesn't owe you anything. That may hurt, but honestly, you're making it hurt more by chasing after him. You're not ghosting him. He is ghosting you.
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    The only way out is through!

    Block him and throw yourself into your new life. The tighter you hold on to the past, the more you're throwing away your current opportunities for a man who very clearly doesn't care for you.
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    What is the spooky way...?

    He's moving on while you're still packing your emotional bags? He's the one ghosting just not in the spooky way.
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aita ex boyfriend reddit story relationships blocked reddit thread Reddit relationship drama dating
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